Markings.

These markings are timeless. it may fade in color, but never in meaning...my story can be touched up and recreated...these ageless markings on this aging body and I'll show you in the light with pride. Beauty with a face, not the mask I hide behind. These markings are symbols of honesty, the deepest parts of me...It's not the skin, but the message that makes me a beautiful woman.

Take it in with a breath, the canvas that breathes and heart beats, with blood of an artist and tongue sharp as a poet. The art of my world in motion. These markings of my being, the path that has made me be, to exist in this world...if God take my voice, then let these markings be my name.

Broken Record, Play Your Favorite Song.

she praised the dead from her hiding hole,
she fell, she fell!
Be gone, but not long...
reach for the light and fight for it.
We've slipped, we've bled and stitched up our hurt with kisses.
Grow up stronger than your mother's weaknesses,
then take her pride and wear it like a crown.
A Queen of all things,
still scared of the dark and bugs.

Dug out my heart from the ground and planted it somewhere in Harlem
the roots of my problems manifested and the strength of my will be tested...am I reliving a mistake? or am I wiser in my spirit and taking in the qualities I deem reasonable? It is settling for what I can get or settling for what I want?


hmm...

The Saga Continues.

Let back track and...

It's been two years since I've seen her face and smelled her skin...maybe a lot longer since I last seen her truly smile and she didn't stink of death...My mother's scent like a garden of wildflowers in a warm summer night. I miss how small her bones really were. How soft her coarse hair was and how much she loved its auburn color...

On this day, she passed away. Cancer ate her up...but I kept her heart. I couldn't hold her hand through it because I wouldn't let her go and I think she knew that. I hope she knew that...I hope she knows I love her still and even more now, that I can't take it for granted. I hope she knows there is not one moment where she doesn't cross my mind...Sometimes it feels like I'm sinking and it's because I can't hold her to me. It's not death that I hate, it's her life that I'm missing...The things she'll miss in mine and all the advice that I'll need and she can't give me. She's not suffering anymore and I understand.

The mending has begun, but I'll never know how long it'll take to heal and if I ever will...but know, this day of all days...I miss my mother and it hurts...and I feel it with my whole heart.

Fast Forward

My heart has shifted. I love again and never the same...its never the same...I've learned to love differently. Feel stronger in my skin...I won't break again. On to the next, but I'm still the sensitive type. I want some kind of twisted fairytale, the damaged princess rescued by her misunderstood prince lol...We lived happily indeed, forever isn't promised so I'll take what I can get...maybe thats why I'm always stuck in these "second best" situations. One day, I will know myself well enough and learn my lessons...until then, I will count my blessings and smile at all the little things that make it all seem well worth it.

I was locked away in a dungeon for a year and a half...lol...Free at last, free at last...

This is the first time I've written this much in about 4 months...This is not The Poet speaking.

I have not been on stage in over a year...I've lost my will to write and I've been on a journey to find it again...

Where there is love, there is chaos.

I need to get back on the ball and keep it on a rooolllllll.

I still have the will to live, God help me.

I want the strength to survive, Goddess bless me.

23 years old and she's no joke...the damn vamp got it and she don't even know.

The Saga Continues, my friends...